the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
