Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
