He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize