i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
