i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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