I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
