If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
