Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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