I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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