I think I died a long time ago.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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