You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
