ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
