You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
