I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
