Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
