She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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