U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
