She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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