Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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