"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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