I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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