I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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