Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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