How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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