OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
