no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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