The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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