dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he puts the penis in happiness.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
