so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
