omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
