dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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