Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
