you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
