I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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