You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
