First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
