i just wanna soil my oats bro
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My bed smells like the plague
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