I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
