You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
