Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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