so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just forgot I was standing up.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
