I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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