party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
