she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
