Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
