he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
