This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
