it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
