I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
