u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
