He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
