new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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