In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
