No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
