god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
