I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
