So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
