I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
