well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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