Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
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