did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Who died my cat blue again?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
