went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
