Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
