I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
