hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
