My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
