Cold hands, warm shart.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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