no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
